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NOW
IS THE TIME TO "JUST SAY
NO" TO LABELS AND DRUGS
My
name is Tracy Gray.
I am a 32-year-old concerned
mother in Missouri. My story
starts in 1997 when my now
12-year-old son was in Kindergarten
in the local Elementary School.
Christian, my son, was doing great
as far as schoolwork goes.
But
the teacher was having problems
with him sitting still. At
first it was funny. Even the
teacher would laugh about some of
the things that he was doing.
(He, to this day, takes pride in
being a comedian!) Then it
became no laughing matter. I
would get frequent phone calls and
notes sent home from the teacher.
"Christian won't sit
still." "Christian
won't raise his hand before
answering questions."
"Christian talks too
much." Then the
principal called wanting to set up
a conference.
The first thing that the principal
told me was that she thought my son
was ADHD, and that I needed to take
him to see a specialist. At
the time, I had heard about ADHD,
but did not know much about it --
but I did know one thing -- I WAS
NOT going to have my son put on
drugs. I, point blank, told
the principal that drugs WERE NOT
an option. I told her that
Christian was going through a lot.
Divorced parents, new step-dad, and
now school. And I asked her
if he could be acting out because
of stress. She told me that
it was possible, and that she would
be "keeping an eye on
him".
And she sure did. We were
constantly bombarded with phone
calls and notes from school.
I seriously started questioning by
parental abilities. Was I
being a bad parent? What if
ADHD is a real disorder, am I only
making things worse for Christian
by not taking him to see a doctor?
I didn't know what to do. I
started doing some serious research
on ADHD and the ”medications”
for it. I found out that
millions of children were being put
on these dangerous drugs all based
on a list of behaviors, behaviors
that nearly every child in the
world will have at some time in
their lives. I became very
angry. I was Angry at the
principal for suggesting that I put
my child on drugs, Angry at
the teachers, and Angry at the
entire school system in general.
They wanted to drug my little boy
for acting like a little boy!!
For 5 years I fought the school
system to keep my son off drugs.
It was not until I threatened to
bring in my attorney that they
stopped pushing for Christian to be
psychologically tested and put on
“medication”.
I am not saying that my son did not
have any behavioral or attentional
issues.
What I am saying is that I
was not going to let the school cop
out on educating him by labeling
him with ADHD. It has been a
long, hard road. Only through
lots of love, support, strong
discipline, many tears, and many
more prayers that we have gotten
this far -- NOT DRUGS.
Christian is in the 6th grade now,
and doing wonderful. Good
grades and not one note or phone
call from the school so far this
year.
I found out recently that the
elementary school here is getting
much worse. They are
pressuring parents even more to
have their children put on
"medication" for this lie
called ADHD. They are telling
parents that they will not allow
their child to continue education
without these drugs. They're
even threatening to call Child
Services for medical neglect.
It is sad to say that we live in a
society where moral values have
been thrown out the window, and
dangerous drugs are accepted with
open arms.
Just when I thought that our fight
was over, we found that it had
really just begun. Last fall,
my 13-year-old step-son (who lives
with his mother) was having
problems in school, and not getting
along well with his mom. She
said that he was getting too big,
and that she could not control him.
She suggested that he see a
counselor, and we agreed -- we
thought it might do him good to
talk to someone that was not
involved in the situation.
HUGE MISTAKE!! My husband
made it very clear to her that we
would not agree to our son being
put on drugs. But it happened
anyway. He was diagnosed ADHD
and put on Strattera. We
tried to talk to his mother about
it, she only got angry with us.
We were told that we were "on
a personal crusade" and that
we were "insane".
We have 3 other children, the
youngest being 5 years old; we did
not even want this drug in our
home. What would happen if
one of our other children got a
hold of it? What kind of
example are we setting for the rest
of our boys if we so easily backed
down on the drug issue with their
brother?? So, there was a
time last year when we did not see
our son for several weeks --
"If the drugs don't come over,
he doesn't come over" was what
his mom had to say about it.
This was one of the hardest times
in our lives -- and still is.
We did not know what to do.
If we take it to court, we will be
in and out of court until our son
is 18 years old. And chances
are slim to none that we could win.
Through prayer and the help of
others, we realized that not
allowing our son to bring his
“medication” over was not the
answer. We needed to see our
son and he needed to see us.
But before our son could resume
visitation, we had to "give
our word" that we would allow
our son to take the drugs, and that
NO ONE in our home (not even our
other children) would talk to him
about ADHD or the “medication”
he was on.
So basically, if we keep our mouths
shut and watch our son be drugged
into submission, then we get to see
him. I have to say this has
been, and still is, very hard to
deal with. We can only hope
and pray that he will find out on
his own -- what is being done to
him.
It breaks my heart to see what
havoc ADHD and these so called
"medications" are doing,
not only to my family, but many
families around the world.
Children do not die from having an
ADHD diagnosis, but many have died
because of these drugs. And
when they don't kill the child
physically, they kill the child in
spirit. The tremendous amount
of trauma these children have to go
through, all because we don't have
time to find out what is really
going on with them. There is
no proof that these drugs help
children in the long run -- so why
do we give our children them at
all?? The list of behaviors
for ADD/ADHD mirror the same list
as a gifted-talented child, so
therefore could we be drugging our
best and brightest students?
We are talking about our future
leaders, future professors, future
doctors -- we are allowing our most
precious commodity, our children to
be labeled and drugged, and for
what?? So they will sit still in a
boring classroom that doesn’t
encourage them, challenge them or
accept their individualism,
creativity, and desire to learn,
and will to be unique?? So
they won't run through the house
pretending to be a racecar driver??
So they won't talk too much??
Parents should be told both sides
of the story. They should be
informed of the subjectivity of the
ADHD/ADD diagnosis itself. They should be
informed of all the drug risks
involved.
They need to hear that
legally drug companies don't have
to tell the public when they come
up with negative results during
testing. They need to hear
that there are so many things that
can cause a child to act out.
But so many parents don't know
these things. Why?
Because they are not being
properly informed!! They trust
doctors and teachers, and that
trust is being taken advantage of.
A lot of parents think that once
they have an ADHD diagnosis, they
have found the source of the
problem. The fact is that
they more than likely have just
started down a long road of
diagnosing and drugging.
First the child is diagnosed with
ADD/ADHD and given a drug, then
when side effects of the drug kick
in, they are given more drugs for
the side effects -- it's a terrible
"snow ball" effect.
And before they know it, the child
is taking several different
“medications” -- and the
underlying problem is still there,
the drugs are just hiding it.
It is time that we stand together
and "Just Say No" to
subjective labels and drugs for our
children. It is time that we
stand in the gap for children and
tell the schools and drug companies
that "WE'RE NOT GOING TO TAKE
THIS ANY MORE!!"
Kids don't need more drugs.
Children needs better teachers,
more parent involvement, and more doctors
who are willing to spend the time
it takes to find out why a child is
acting out. We don't need
quick drug solutions, we need real
solutions.
Tracy
Gray, Vice President, State of
Missouri
trac_29@hotmail.com
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